Ways to Help and Ways Not to Help
This is a matter of degrees. If your child’s disorganization is materially impacting grades and progress, consider taking action to build executive function skills. If, however, the disorganization is not to that level, read on. We argue that for your child to become an independent, resilient learner, too much hand-holding can be counterproductive.
So, the gist of this article is to focus on the skills and tips a disorganized learner can internalize to foster learning independence.
As opposed to the kind of help that ends with you becoming a teacher’s aide, doing your child’s homework, day after day, and not giving him a chance to develop independent study habits.
Yes, there are assignments due, tests to take, and yes, you find it difficult to see your child floundering, so you want to help. And yes, sometimes you have no choice – the test is tomorrow, and your child has done nothing. But it’s not always the right instinct to dive in and help.
To Learning Independence
Learning to learn, learning to study, learning to think, can look like sausage-making. It’s not pretty. But if you want your child to grow into a robust and creative learner, we recommend defaulting to a hands-off approach and only using the first set of tips to help your child see what learning independence looks like, but using the second set of support tips sparingly.
Second, if your child is disorganized, it could signal an underlying learning delay that needs attention. Nobody likes doing things they are not good at, and that includes learning.
In this case, your first move is not to take control of your child’s study habits, but rather to seek out a learning intervention to try to resolve the underlying learning difficulties – check out our programs for executive function.
Then, once that’s resolved, default to a hands-off approach and give your child a chance to develop self-reliance and learning independence.
Tips To Help a Disorganized Learner Develop Independence
Here are some strategies and tips to assist a disorganized learner. While there are some basics, like providing your child with a quiet study space free of distraction (more study help tips here), this list focuses on lifetime study skills that, once developed, will help your child become an independent learner:
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- Establish a structured routine: Creating a household chores routine with consistency is known to help children develop good study habits.
- Making it visual: Most learning glitches relate to language knowledge and language processing. So your child will benefit from visual organizers like calendars, planners, or to-do lists to keep track of assignments, due dates, and important events.
- Break tasks into smaller steps: Disorganization is often procrastination related to being overwhelmed by the amount of work to do. Teaching your child to break assignments or test study into smaller, more manageable tasks is something that will be helpful for the rest of their lives.
- Prioritize and set goals: It’s helpful for a disorganized learner to learn to prioritize tasks based on deadlines and importance. Encourage the child to set specific, achievable goals, which can be motivating. And then, encourage your child to tackle high-priority items first.
- Use reminders: Help your child build a routine of setting reminders that work for him. That might be digital reminders or paper notes for important dates, appointments, and deadlines.
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While many children develop these skills independently, either from peers, mimicking teachers, or from you, some will benefit from having these best-practice study habits pointed out.
Other Support for a Disorganized Learner
If your child is dealing with a learning delay and finds homework and studying difficult, you may need to adopt a more supportive, hand-holding approach to help your child maintain confidence. Use these strategies alongside learning interventions to address your child’s underlying delays.
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- Offer support and guidance: Be available to answer questions, provide help with challenging assignments, and offer guidance without taking over the tasks entirely.
- Promote self-awareness: Encourage your child to reflect on their strengths and weaknesses as learners, helping them develop strategies that work best for their individual needs.
- Foster a growth mindset: Encourage your child to view mistakes and setbacks as opportunities for learning and growth rather than as failures.
- Be patient and empathetic: Understand that becoming organized is a skill that takes time to develop. Be patient, offer support, and celebrate your child’s progress along the way.
Final Note
Disorganization often stems from executive function deficits. These are cognitive skill gaps that can be improved.
If your child is struggling, your best action might be to seek professional help. If your child has any of these symptoms of a processing delay, there might be a processing delay present. Other possibilities are ADHD or executive function deficits, which can often be treated.
Every child is unique, and it may take time to identify the specific strategies and tools that work best for them. Tailor your approach to the child’s individual needs, and continue to provide guidance and encouragement as they work toward becoming more organized learners.
If you are unsure about your child, our free learning screening for symptoms and risk factors might help.
